Self belief - so fickle. Wouldn't you agree?

Let’s just say today was one of those days of fluctuating between believing in yourself and thinking you’re an absolute joke. Chatting with Owen today, the theme of self belief came up. If you’ve read my blog or know me personally, you would know my intentions are to share my learnings from India with the rest of the world as a teacher. I also intend to own my own business one day, with a studio and also hosting retreats in luxury accommodation. Where my students are treated to a few days of complete respite, to allow their tired bodies to rejuvenate, relinquishing all worries for a few days. To experience the absolute bliss yoga can offer. This is what I dream to do. But today I was really honest with Owen about my personal doubts in my own ability to actually ‘pull this off’. The negative voices in my head, which try so hard to take over, are there constantly. But I know I cannot give into them. I know any self doubt will stop me from carving the path, the life, I dream of. So I have to actively cancel these thoughts. Not pay attention to them. To remind myself that anything is possible if you want it enough. If you work hard enough at it. I truly believe this, and I know my dreams for yoga will be realized soon. But again, as I mentioned before, there are days when I need to work harder to conjure up positive messages of self belief. I think this is called life.

I’m a doer in life. As the baby of eight children, I worked out pretty early on if I wanted something, I needed to get it myself. Especially as an adult, this is how I have always operated. Because I am fortunate enough to have found a true passion which gives meaning to my life, yoga, I am now committed to realising these dreams. To achieve my goals. I am firm about the opinions I will listen to and accept versus those which offer nothing and should be ignored. One has to be. This also goes for the messages I tell myself, as I said earlier. I am so strict with what thoughts/beliefs I will allow into my life and which ones I will choose not to indulge. Anything which says I can’t do something, for example, is something I choose to ignore. If I don’t do this, (and I believe this to be true for everyone), then I wouldn’t be here in India following my heart. Or if I made it this far but allowed self doubt to creep in, then I certainly wouldn’t see my training through. It would be far easier to fly home to the man and pooch whom I miss desperately. But what kind of life would that be? I know I cannot give up on myself. And nor should anyone.

I guess the point I’m getting at is - everyone else can see potential in others and yet the person themselves often cannot see the potential in themself. Why do we all struggle so much to see the good in ourselves, to see the immense strength and courage we all possess within? If everyone were brave enough to look inside and trust themselves, the possibilities of what could be achieved are limitless. Boundless. Maybe we all need to take a huge look in the mirror and ask ourselves - “am I living my life how I had always hoped to live it?” If the answer is no, then ask “what do I need to do to create that life?” Then do that. And let go of the self doubt. It does not serve you.

The clock is ticking and we don’t know when it will stop. So if ever there is a time to listen to yourself and just go for it - it’s now. That’s is why I’m here. Because I suddenly realised, tomorrow will never come. Food for thought.

Namaste xx


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