What’s been going through my head today? Well - many things as usual. And considering it’s holiday Sunday, I’ve had a lot more free time to think, and possibly over think things (the way Jessica does!).
So. This is my final week of training (technically we finish Monday week, but you get the idea). In just 7 training days time I will be considered an advanced yoga teacher and practitioner. I will be qualified to not only train beginners, but also intermediate and advanced practitioners. (Assuming I pass my final exam on Thursday of course). I cannot believe I am finally saying this. To say I’m a qualified yoga teacher has been a dream for a long long time. I can’t help but think back to the Jessica who started writing this blog late last year - an uninspired, depressed woman trapped in an unfulfilling corporate job. And then look at me now. Loving life again, excited about the future, and looking at the beautiful world with a fresh set of eyes. At 29 years of age, I finally feel I am on the path that was meant for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for all experiences up until this point, as without them I may never have made it here and they have shaped who I am today, but let’s just say I am quite happy to leave the path once followed well behind me.
This week I shall give it my all. Every last bit of energy I have within I will be sure to take to my practice. I want to make this week really count. That includes taking some time to speak with Bharath privately about any final questions I may have before setting off to the Kerela. It’s incredible how we can all take things for granted, like time, but when time starts running out we rush to cram in what we could have done earlier (e.g. met with Bharath more often perhaps?). I guess this is the same as life. We all assume we have so much time, but then suddenly, out of the blue we will look in the mirror and see a different person to who we once were 1,2,3,20+ years ago. Time creeps away from us, so it’s important we notice each and every moment we have before it’s too late. This is why I’m here. I don’t want to have the horrible realisation one day that I missed my opportunity(ies) and then spend whatever time I have left trying to make up for that.
As everyone knows, I’m struggling with the idea of leaving here and returning to reality. Unfortunately this has led me to start thinking about the future - neglecting the here and now. I also told Bharath this as it’s disrupting my meditation. So, to try and minimise future thinking, (although there are certain things I must sort out back home), I’m treating each moment as precious, consciously bringing myself back to the present. To the here and now.
Before leaving Australia I told Owen I can’t wait to return home to be with him again, but at the same time I don’t want to wish the trip away. This has been a real challenge for me, and it took a little time before I really started to appreciate this journey. But upon finding my groove, I really have managed to love every moment here.
So, with all that said - I guess what I’m getting at is the importance of remembering to be here, now. It’s all we have. Yes, I have 10 more days in Mysore, but in the blink of an eye I will be home in Australia, so I must work hard to be completely present.
I must appreciate the time I have, not the time I are not yet privy to, i.e. the future. Because this is it. This is life.