This past week has been a little all over the place for me, both physically and emotionally. Looking firstly at the physical - my left knee has been in a lot of pain, to the point of barely walking. When I’m practicing, and the knee is warmed up, it’s ok. But after sitting crossed legged for a period of time, I can’t get up. I think if I were to stand on the leg it would concave itself and snap in half. That’s what it feels like anyway. Of course I know to expect fluctuations in my body, so I’m not giving this any more attention than it deserves, but I also think the following changes in my life are significant contributors to this: new boots with a slight heel, sitting on normal chairs and driving. When I’m home I sit on the floor - always - to trying and maintain open hips and good posture. Whenever I have an opportunity to be on the floor, I am, as i know this is important, not only for my practice but for overall long term health benefits. Essentially, I’m committed to working through this in order to heal the knee.
The other fluctuation is of course, emotional. I’ve been up and down, sideways and backwards this past week. Some days I can pick what’s going on, other days there is absolutely no reason for the tears or frustrated feelings, but they’re there anyway. I’m truly committed to really controlling my emotional state. To not be a victim in my life. To take time to really notice what’s going on and then choose differently. When my emotions are all over the place like they have been, I think it simply comes down to not taking enough time out for me. Over the years, I’ve worked out how important down time is. There is a lot on my plate at the moment but if I don’t stop and breathe once in a while, this is when it can all get on top of me. I don’t think I’m unique with this either. I guess this is where yoga is / can be such a beautiful addition to a person’s life. By committing to daily practice, this can really help people to attain the sense of calm and control over their emotions, or more importantly, their lives again which can be lost when we’re running a million miles an hour.
By looking inward, and noticing how beneficial this practice is to my emotional and physical state, I’ve realised this is where my passion for the practice lies. My dream is to help others to truly learn how to look inward also. When people can challenge themselves to do so, their journey with yoga will look so vastly different compared with those who are seeking a quick workout. Yes, this week has been a little all over the place for me, but by seeking to understand and notice the ‘shifts’ that are going on within my physical and non-physical body especially, I find acceptance within and tend to be more gentle on myself overall. If we all can learn to be a little more gentle, one can only imagine the powerful impact this could have on a worldwide scale. The possibilities are endless.
So with that, I shall continue to notice, listen and accept my body and everything that’s going on within it. Slowly slowly it shall return to balance.