Crippled from the waste down

This post couldn’t wait until tonight. I have just finished a 3 hour session of mostly sitting - a  hour or so of this was just meditation and breathing techniques. The floor in the shala is tiled, and my mat is 5mm thick. So essentially I too am sitting on tiles. Just now, I have hobbled up hill back to my room for lunch, hoping my legs will not give way or that I wont pass out on the side of the road.

During these breathing techniques we are meant to be focused on the “beautiful” sensations in the body. All I am thinking is “F*****************K!” My hips were about to snap, my knees were burning and my ankles felt as though they had 1000 tonnes of concrete on them as they pressed into the floor whilst cross legged. The most unbelievable pain - and who would have thought sitting would be so difficult!

Our teacher is very aware of the amount of sitting that we are doing, but he too is committed to teaching us how to control our mind. So in between saying Hail Mary’s that I will make it through the class alive, I am trying to remind myself to focus, be aware, be alert but dont give in. And this is only day 4. Oh dear…