I’ve been struggling to write lately. I don’t know what that’s about? I’ve been finding myself getting caught up in the busy work of business that I’m not taking time out for just…me. Whilst my morning yoga ritual is a given, there is something profoundly special about journaling or blogging. I tend to get so wound up in my head at times that this space offers me an avenue of letting everything out. Whatever comes to mind. That’s exactly what I’m doing write now. I don’t plan these blogs. Rather, they come as I feel ready to explore whatever is going on for me. And following a busy week and reflecting on why I’m feeling a little more tired than normal, I’ve come to realize a big part of that has been due to not journaling as I regularly do.
I began journaling as a little girl. Before bed each night I would write in the journal that I placed on the bookshelf above my head. I wanted to keep a record of my days and how I felt that day. What I did that day. I dabbled with journaling on and off as I grew up, but I use to get so frustrated when I felt forced to write about my day. I placed pressure on myself to note every single detail of my day because I feared forgetting these memories. Turns out, this is not the most effective way of journaling or blogging. It wasn’t until I gave myself the freedom to just write absolutely anything that popped into my mind - coherent or not, legible or the artwork equivalent of a two year old – that I began to experience the true power and joy of journaling. When I gave myself this freedom, journaling became not too dissimilar to meditation. I was giving my mind a chance to let it all out. The to-do lists, the conversations, the worries, the joys, the what-the-hell-do-I-do-next dead end thoughts… All of it was flowing out onto the page (my preference is a hand written journal), freeing my mind from the mental chatter that it’s so good at holding onto. It is often through this approach to journaling and blogging that I have my most profound realisations – about myself, my relationships, my business… It’s like a thick fog gets lifted every single time I put pen to paper.
So as I write this now, I’m working out (as I go) why I’m feeling a little run down this weekend and I now realize a huge part of this is because I didn’t commit to my regular ritual of journaling every morning. It’s not helpful to get frustrated with myself for this, but I often stop and wonder why I choose not to do the things that I know helps me most – journaling being one of them? I guess we all do this right? With what we eat, drink, when we go to bed, how much exercise we do. I guess this is part of our journey. We just need to make sure we don’t beat ourselves up when we fall off the wagon and instead dust ourselves off and jump back on.
I don’t have any special way of trying to end this post. Whilst proper writing would require a summary or conclusion of some sort – as you all know by now, I’m not a proper writer. Just an honest one who is sharing insights into my life that may or may not interest you. That you may or may not resonate with. If you do – great. If you don’t, oh well. Nothing lost.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I’m not sure how to help people out of different ruts we’re get ourselves into. My only suggestion could be to try what I try – and that is to stop, sit, be still and think. Extend the pause and then when you feel ready, write. Anything and everything that comes to mind. There is knowledge from this place.