If it weren’t for my daily practice, then it’s highly likely the partially sane person I am would not exist. My life is go, go, go. And to be clear this is only because I choose it to be and so being a go, go, go kind of person doesn’t phase me. Plus, let’s face it - it’s very unlike Jessica to make life a little simpler for myself… But this is how I like it, this is the state where I do my best work and this is also a byproduct of my Type-A personality.
But as of late I’ve been feeling a little unsettled. A little out of sorts if you will. I haven’t been able to put my finger on it but I’ve known it’s there. Sitting down to work during the day has been an effort as my mind has been scattered. I’m usually pretty good at latching onto a particular task and getting it done but for whatever reason, I’ve been unable to find this clarity of focus.
My practice has also been off in the morning. Getting up has been extra difficult, my back has been playing up and my mind has been lazy. When my mind is lazy, my practice (and my life) gets lazy too. And whilst I notice this about myself, it doesn’t always mean I take active steps to change it. As a fellow human being, I too (on occasion) like to bask in the lazy way of living. And although this does nothing to help propel my life in the trajectory I desire, for whatever reason I tend to indulge these unhelpful, scattered, can’t work it out so don’t try, ways of thinking. In all fairness to myself, this generally lasts for maybe a lunch hour or at worst an afternoon, but it’s still not the best mindset to get caught up in for any length of time.
So today, whilst in that mindset, I decided it was time to step away from my computer and take the pooches for a walk. They were looking at me with their puggy guilt ridden eyes and I gave in. Plus, I needed the fresh air as I’d been teaching back-to-back classes for the past 6 hours. The trouble I have with days like today is I finally get home to a mountain of work to be done and emails to reply to so I tend to feel drowned in work. And then in a poor attempt to get ontop of my work, I inefficiently begin ploughing through my to-do list. I bog myself down, feel stressed that I can’t be all people at once and then transition into either the can’t work it out so don’t try mindset or the I can’t move from this desk until everything is done mindset. None of which are helpful. (Wow – that was tiring just reading that back to myself! Point demonstrated).
As I harnessed up Tyrone and Lola I decided to leave my phone at home. This phone is normally glued to me and I’m forever on it. If it’s not a phone call its checking emails or Facebook updates. This phone has become somewhat of a miracle and equally a burden in my life. Whatever it means to me and for my business, for my state of mind I decided it needed to stay home. I needed to just Be. To walk without the distraction of calls or the temptations to check emails. I needed to just unplug for an hour. Whilst there is literally a small level of anxiety around being without this portable tracking device, as I reached the end of my driveway I suddenly felt light. I felt free. That I could completely relax and absorb my surroundings without the constant niggle that my phone would go off at any moment. The volume of the world, of life, was immediately turned down. I began to notice the simple but beautiful things that surrounded me. The leaves falling on the green grass as winter nears, the dew on the roses, the sun shining through tree branches. My dogs also seem happier when I’m without my phone. It’s as though they know they have my complete attention and whilst this may sound silly, I believe this to be true. We played with leaves, explored new paths and sniffed (well, not me) every tree we passed. We were truly present to the complete experience we shared, and I realized this is something I’ve been missing lately. Being constantly plugged in is not a healthy way of being and I need to distance myself from it a little more, for if I don’t then who knows what precious moments I could miss.
As I sit here now, writing this entry, I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for the day I’ve had. For the special moments I only noticed because I decided to slow down. These are reminders that I need to do this more often for not only does it bring clarity in what might otherwise have seemed impossible situations, but it brings me back to myself. This is the place where I do, not only my best work, but where I can be the best version of me.
Sending present hugs to you all,
P.S. I've been slack with my blog lately as I've not been inspired to write. Turns out unplugging is necessary for maintaining and nourishing many areas of my life, including the realisations I'm always eager to share.