As I write this I’m sitting on my mothers balcony in my favourite part of the world, Encounter Bay. I have a view of the ocean, the sun has just risen and the world around me is still asleep. I’ve just finished my practice, watching as the world goes from dark to light, and as I sip my cup of tea writing this, I feel nothing but an overwhelming sense gratitude.
The Easter weekend just been has been nothing short of chaotic – to put it frankly. My entire family would agree. This is a time of year when we all get together – countless children, extended family, dogs, cats… Everyone is here and we are all under the same roof. Brady Bunch eat your heart out! And yet chaos aside, I am always so saddened to leave and so grateful for having been a part of it.
There are tears, the odd argument, many laughs and a lot of catching up. Whilst my family get togethers are the surest way of promoting anxiety even in the calmest of person, I really do love them. Owen and I are really quiet people and considering we have no family back in Melbourne, these hectic gatherings are now few and far between. And let’s not pretend that our distance doesn’t contribute to making them (our gatherings) more bearable every year. But chaos aside, at the end of the day, this is my family and I love and miss them all. We decided to move to Melbourne for many reasons, a primary reason being that there are many more opportunities as compared with Adelaide. But this has come at a rather large sacrifice – being that we are no longer near to our families.
Growing up, I recall this desperation to get out of the house, travel and be away from everyone. I wanted to find myself and learn to stand on my own two feet. I was tired of everyone elses opinions and the feeling that I will never be taken seriously (as I’m the baby). Interestingly enough, however, having taken this time and space through travel and moving away, I’ve come to realize just how important my family is. How much they mean to me – craziness and all. The little things that use to frustrate me no longer do. Rather I can laugh at these things. I can appreciate and accept the vast differences between us, as well as the similarities we share.
Owen and I have no intention of moving back to Adelaide any time soon. Our life is now in Melbourne and we love it there. But this doesn’t mean it is easy to leave our family each and every time our little holidays are over. Sitting here, overlooking my favourite view in the world with mum in the room next to me is so comforting. I’m always sad to leave and wish I could just make time stand still for a little while longer. But the reality is, I can’t. Nor can any of us. Which leaves me with no choice but to feel grateful for the time we’ve shared.
I’ve been very present this weekend which has not always been easy for me to do, but has been important for my own peace of mind and happiness. I was always desperate to hold onto moments in fear of weekends or holidays ending – so much so I didn’t enjoy the time at all. My dread of good things coming to an end always came, something I use to feel so bitter about. But not now. I believe happiness is found through presence – through ones ability to be present. If we can be present then we deeply experience each and every moment – chaos and all!
If we are in the moment, then we will never experience that feeling of regret or longing for we know we made the most of something important to us. This is where I find happiness and I hope others will find it too.
We will drive home to Melbourne today – Owen and our two furry babies – and we will reflect fondly on the weekend just been, knowing we made the most of it and that there are more special times ahead.
Sending grateful hugs,