As some of you may or may not know, I tend to be a little bit of a perfectionist… just slightly. If i do something, I want to give it my all and make sure every t is crossed and every i is dotted. This is me. Whilst I’m a true believer in giving your all to something, I think it’s important to remember there are times when it’s OK to give yourself permission to back off the accelerator for a moment. It’s here, in the backing off, that I struggle. I worry I will let others down if I don’t do a good enough job, that the quality of whatever it is I’m doing will suffer - an asana, a blog post, an email response to a client. Whilst I’m in no way encouraging mediocrity (it’s just not my style), I’m also realising how important it is (for my mental and physical health) to relax a little more. By living with such high expectations, it can be easy to lose sight of why I’m doing something in the first place - and more importantly, to lose the enjoyment of that activity. I’ll give an example. I came to Mysore thinking I would be able to vlog every day with my video camera. Whilst I’m still recording as much as I can, it was becoming a really stressful experience. I didn’t want to force content as this would be inauthentic. Turns out, I much prefer writing about my lessons and sharing them via a written medium instead of video. Alternatively, I’ve worked out I much prefer to teach asanas via the video platform, not written. Something I didn’t know before coming here, but through trial and error have come to realise about myself. This is growth, right!
So where am I going with this… For a few days now I’ve been placing a huge amount of pressure on myself to vlog, and because of this pressure, I was losing the enjoyment of playing with the camera. I feared if I were to stop then I would be letting people down. Letting myself down. That I wouldn’t be doing a good enough job. Turns out, that’s not the case. These are just the silly, unhelpful stories I’m telling myself in my head.
If anything, I’ve learned a number of fundamentally important lessons:
If something is or is becoming forced, stop.
No one is being let down, myself included. It’s OK to try new things and realise it’s not for you!
Remember to regularly check in and reflect on what works and what doesn’t. Written blogs work for me. Vlogs do not. But on the flip side, teaching via video absolutely works for me too, so this is the area I need to develop.
Drop the unrealistic expectations and enjoy the process. This is where the most powerful work and experiences happen, whatever they may be.
So there you have it! A little more insight into how my mind can work and the lessons I feel are important to remember. I know there are many other people out there who are also determined to give 1000% to everything they put their mind too. I just feel sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to relax and breathe a little more. We’re doing a great job as it is. There is no need for the added stress or worry. It helps no one.
Thank you for reading. This has been a really therapeutic blog for me and I hope it has been for you also.
Sending huge amounts of love and hugs to you.