Lately, without being consciously aware, I’ve been following a path which was not too dissimilar to old, meaningless ways. It was only upon realising this that I fully understood why many other areas of my life have not been going as well as they normally would. Take for instance my morning practice. Energy levels have been quite flat. Regardless of whether I’m doing Vinyasa or not, I’ve really struggled to have a deep, focused and powerful practice. Prior to my realisation, I wasn’t sure why that was. Another area of my life which is a little off is my eating habits. I seem to be a little out of whack when it comes to noticing what my body likes, what is life giving for it, and what my body doesn’t need. This has been really upsetting for me, as again, I haven’t been able to pinpoint what’s been going on in my life which is making me so detached from myself. Finally, the other is illness. I’m now dreadfully unwell. Sitting in bed right now, surrounded by tissues, slathered in Vicks Vaporub, and somewhat dependent on Asprin for pain relief, let’s just say I’ve felt better. But although this is not an ideal state to be in, I’ve realised this is my body’s way of saying “enough”.
So what’s changed. Well, firstly I’ve been allowing other people’s fear of me moving forward to build my dream studio here in Melbourne get in the way. Because of this, I haven’t been taking any steps in that direction and my life has felt a little less fulfilled because of it. Silly. Of course there is risk involved in a venture like this, hence why many people don’t want to embark on this type of journey, but did i not just return from 3 months of intensive, verging on 24 hour training in India??? Yes I did! And I can’t think of anything more full on than that at the moment! :) I tend to forget how brave I can be, (when it comes to following my heart’s desires), and so allow other people’s worries stop me. It becomes almost an excuse for my life not being where I want it to be at any given time. But, at the end of the day, only I have the power to change the trajectory of my life. And thank goodness for that! If I have a vision, a dream, I need to follow that. The last time I did that (India) I had one of the happiest experiences of my life, which tells me I need to make sure I continue to listen to, and follow those dreams.
Of course, my words and realisations do not only apply to me. They apply to every human being on this Earth. We all need to take control of our own destiny. To make choices which bring joy to us and lead us down a path that we truly desire to be on. Life is a journey, and we need to enjoy the journey, because it’s finite. There is a time when The End will apply for each of us, so let’s make sure we fill our pages with experiences which make us smile, which make our hearts sing (as I always say).
Since my realisation, my practice has completely transformed. Yes, I’m sick at the moment, but as I mentioned before, this is my body’s way of telling me to wake up. It’s quite possibly ridding itself of any negative energy I’ve been holding within it. I shall therefore use this time to stop, reflect and connect. And when I’m well again, watch out! Hello life!!